Freedom And Prefabrication Of Love

Freedom and Prefabrication of Love: Risks, Certitudes and Similitudes

Love has existed since humans exist; either as a feeling or just as a word used for marketing purposes. Love has been around since the human instinct evolved an attraction toward the opposite sex with reproduction purposes. But this is not its only use. Love has been adopted for many other benefits like: having someone to take care of us when needed, leisure, avoiding loneliness, etc. Some people say that love is accomplished after people marry and start a life together. Marriage as such is relatively new in our society; it was created for several functions and it has different types of love within it. The subject marriage–love could bring about an indeterminate number of cases to discuss but I am going to center this paper on arranged marriages and free-choice marriages: more precisely, the pros and cons of both regarding love, benefits and disadvantages for its participants. One would say that these marriages have an enormous gap between them because they belong mostly to different cultures; this is not always correct as human instinct is alike in all societies. There are too many facts that demonstrate the differences and similitudes between these types of unions and prove their functions which will be stated in this paper; in addition, the view of the main character of the movie Brick Lane about her arranged marriage will be analyzed.

Marriages just cannot be the same in every culture; different societies have their own plans for the future and their own benefits from it. When parents, elders or family leaders take the decision about who is going to marry whom, when and under what conditions or circumstances, instead of the couple involved in the union, it is called an arranged marriage. Arranged marriages usually are cataloged by western countries as bad and even inhuman, but they have some good advantages compared to love marriages. To many cultures arranged unions are a reliable option that does not threaten happiness in any way. Marriage is an important decision that sometimes is taken from many options. These multiple choices can overwhelm and provoke people to make the incorrect decision in “love” marriages. Reva Seth (2008) states that arranged marriages are “not about hotties, cuties, sexual chemistry, or soul mates. Instead, it’s [they are] about finding the right partner, making the decision, and getting on with building a life of purpose and marital contentment together” (p. 1). A single person can avoid all the struggling and pressure of the dating game and be relaxed knowing that the decision taken on his/her behalf will be the right one and will bring happiness in the future. Also, it is said that “after the [arranged] marriage the couple will have the opportunity to get to know one another and forge common bonds” (Xiaohe & King Whyte, 1990, p. 710). Maybe these relationships will not have the “magic” of love encounters but it will be secure in many other aspects, such as economy and a strong future. India, Asian and Middle East countries are the places with the most arranged marriages. It is a tradition where different aspects of life, such as religion, family and social and economic status, are brought together. In fact, in India it has been seen that “the flourishing existence of arranged marriages among Indians is for many proof of the firm hold of tradition on present-day Indian social life” (Majumdar, 2009, p. 23). Thus, these unions do not just preserve old customs but also cover the needs of a society that takes seriously its past and ancestors; creating bonds between families and lineages. It is clear that arranged marriages can sometimes exceed expectations regarding happiness and social success in contrast to love marriages.

However, as mentioned before, there are arguments from western countries about arranged marriages that show they are full of disadvantages and why they are not viewed well. One of the main reasons for this rejection is that participants of these marriages usually have a huge gap between their ages. Usually, women are minors that are supposed to be ready for marriage after puberty is reached. According to cultures that practice arranged marriages “By fourteen, a girl is mature enough to undertake household responsibility, but young enough to be moulded to choice by her husband and inlaws” (Khan, 1994, p. 78). In particular, it is important for men that women (or girls) are virgin, with a chaste record, no scandals and knowledge of domestic labours; if not, they are not worthy as a woman. Another

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