Really Real Punk

REALLY real punk

Let's get down to brass tacks

Okay, folks... this is the real thing. You've all been waiting for it. I know you have. This is "how to be a REALLY real punk"!!

Basics

First things first... forget Hot Topic and pop culture. You have to start making your own clothes now. Why? Well, nobody really knows, but it's pretty cool anyway. You have to get a vest or a leather jacket and stud it. Get your patches from some kind of punk store or make them yourself. Paint logos on your vest too. Every time somebody says the word system (even if completely out of context), you have to shout "FUCK THE SYSTEM!!!" really loud. That way, everyone knows how punk you are. To be a really real type of punk, it's best to live at home with your mom and it also helps to be in high school, since you know the most about the world when you're living at home and not making your own way in life. It's okay if you live by yourself, just be sure to keep your mouth shut when the KNOWLEGIBLE punks are talking. Make sure you complain about oppression and capitalism, but never suggest alternatives... just complain, like liberals. Regurgitate song lyrics from well-known punk songs, so people know you're the real-deal (Exmpl: "NAZI PUNKS, FUCK OFF!"). You have to go to lots of punk shows like The Subhumans and the U.K. Subs. Make sure not to listen to the lyrics, just jump around and hit people next to you. Being big into the scene is really important, since punk is a fashionable music scene, not a culture. You should go to punk shows even if you hate the bands playing, that way people will see how committed you are. If other punks start talking about politics or whatever just agree with whatever they say (unless they start bashing anarchy). Tell everyone you're DIY, even if you don't know what DIY stands for. Get a mohawk or spike your hair, otherwise you aren't punk. Always proclaim your hate for hippies and "punks" who don't look like you. Be sure to just copy other punks in general because that's how it's done.

Anarchy

You have to be an anarchist. Anarchy = Punk. Make sure you smoke, since smoking is cool, and all anarchists smoke. Anarchy... what is it? Who the fuck cares! Sex Pistols sang about it, and all the other punks seem to like it, so why not jump on the bandwagon? Be sure to shout "ANARCHY!!!" at random people. This will show them that you mean business and you aren't just playing around. Since anarchy is about, like, chaos and destruction, you have to go around spray painting stuff on walls and making taxpayers repaint public buildings since taxpayers are part of the system and... yeah, fuck the system. It's okay to hate the system since you take NO part in it whatsoever.

Clothes

Remember to get everything from punk stores or thrift shops. That way, you pay less for them or something like that.

Pants

- Wear tight pants. Simple as that. Sew some patches onto them so if you forget your jacket or something, people will still know you are really punk.

Shoes

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