Christmas On Canvas

Teacher: Now pay attention, you two there at the back! Pay attention! Or you’ll be writing out one hundred times “ I must pay attention in class”

Teacher: Yes, what is it Smith? (Smith raises his / her hand)

Smith: But Sir, we’re not in class, we’re in the art gallery.

Teacher: Of course I know that Smith, but it’s the principle boy / girl, it’s the principle that is important.

Jones: Sir - Is that why he drives a BMW Z4 …while you drive …that little car, Sir… that´s a principle what’s your car again?

Teacher: A Vocho Jones, A Vocho… But it wasn’t that kind of principal I was going on about ! Now Jones, I really wish you would stop going on about cars and my car in particular. We’re not here to learn about cars, we’re here to learn about Art! My dear boy! Art! For instance… (moves closer to the painting) Look at this marvellous work by a great master (motions to the tableaux of Gabriel & Mary) The Angel Gabriel appears to Mary to tell her some wonderful news! See the exquisite detail, fine brush strokes, you could reach out and touch it, it’s so…so…real!

(Just then a loud tinkling sound is heard to signify a magical event – the teacher and the kids freeze looking on as Gabriel and Mary come to life as it were)

Gabriel: Greetings! The Lord has blessed you and is with you. Do not be afraid, Mary. You will have a baby and you are to call him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord will give him the throne of David and his kingdom will never end.

Mary: How will this happen since I’m not married yet?

Gabriel: The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will cover you. For this reason the baby will be holy and will be called the Son of God. Remember your relative Elizabeth is going to have a baby even though she is very old. God can do anything!

Mary: I am the servant of the Lord. Let this happen to me just as you have said!

(Magical tinkling sound is played again to indicate switch back to the teacher and kids)

Sarah: That was amazing, the painting seemed to come alive!

Jenny: Yes, I didn’t know art could be so cool!

Teacher: (Reading the guidebook) Mary left Nazareth immediately after the Annunciation and went "into the hill country...into a city of Judah" to attend her cousin Elizabeth. Look there’s the painting– Follow me! (They walk).

Elizabeth: Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. And why has this happened to me, that the mother of my Lord comes to me? For as soon as I heard the sound of your greeting, the child in my womb leaped for joy. And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her by the Lord.

Mary: My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour, for he has looked with favour on the lowliness of his servant.

Teacher: Now onto the second part of the exhibition. Come along! Smith!

Smith: Ok

(The Teacher and kids start to walk looking at the audience members as though the audience themselves were figures in some gallery display)

Jones: What part of the gallery is this?

Smith: I don’t know, but some of these statues look really ancient!

Jones: I’ll say – they aren’t half ugly…Hey – maybe it’s the part of the gallery where they restore the exhibits – you know, brush the dust off and fill in all those little cracks…

Smith: “Little” cracks? That one’s (points to someone) going to need at least 3 big bags of cement just for starters!

Sarah: This reminds me of when I was in London….

Jenny: What – all those people all smartly dressed in the latest fashion going up and down Oxford Street? Elegant ladies tottering on their heels with Prada handbags? Sophisticated men in their Armani suits?

Sarah: Er…No – I was actually thinking more of the chamber of horrors at Madame Tussaud’s...

By the time they arrive back at the front, Joshep is in the painting and he looks tired and worried.

Jenny: Look!

Sarah: Who is he?

Smith: (Not trying to look smart) That’s Joseph, maybe it’s the moment of his doubt about marrying Mary.

Teacher: Now we’re talking. You see Smith if you put attention you learn some things (Smith’s face turn red or mad and he is going to speak but the painting comes alive at that moment).

Joseph: I can’t marry her I’m going to tell her but privately I don’t want people talking abooooout. (At this last word Joseph fell asleep and Gabriel appears).

Gabriel: Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins. (Joseph wakes up and decides to marry Mary).

Teacher: Wow! That’s beautiful.

Sarah: Look there’s one of Joseph and Mary.

Mary and Joseph are in a painting. Teacher looks back at the guide book again.

Teacher: Now pay attention class! Now then…. what does it say here… “In those days Caesar Augustus gave an order that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. And everyone went to his home town to be registered. And so it was that Joseph, who was engaged to be married to Mary, went from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Bethlehem in Judea to register there because he belonged to the house and line of David…”

(loud tinkling magic music plays again – teacher and schoolchildren freeze whilst Mary & Joseph come alive, step out through the picture frame, and start walking around audience. By the time Mary & Joseph have gone around, the main stage has been changed to that of the manger with baby Jesus. They step back into the picture through the frame and take up position whereupon the magical tinkling music plays again).

Teacher picks up where he left off

Teacher: Errr…now where was I? That’s right – Joseph and Mary went

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