Panic Disorder And Hope

Panic disorder and Hope

Sometimes the world feels like it’s falling down and crushing on me under its thick fingers. I feel like the sky is on fire and my fears are brought to life when I have a panic attack. Imagine that you sitting alone in a room. It is quiet, and you are calmly reading a book. Suddenly some comes up behind you and yells ‘Hey!!” You become startled and frightened. A surge of adrenaline overcomes your body. Your heart begins to race, your legs to tremble, you have butterflies in your stomach. After a moment, those effects have passed, and your body feels normal once more again.

Well now imagine the same symptoms but far way more intense, but there is no such situation presented to warrant them. That is how I feel when I having a panic attack.

It all started about a year ago, it was a Sunday night, it was cold out and I did not have a jacket on. I was walking home from my friend’s Daniel house after watching a football game. I suddenly started to fell dizzy and I could not breathe for a moment, it was so strange but I did not think it was something serious.

Two days later I went to my uncle’s house to visit my cousin John since he was bored at home he asked me to come over and watch a movie or something. We were seating on the couch laughing while we were watching a TV show when suddenly I started to feel dizzy and I could not breathe for a moment just like last time, but this time I had chest pains, that where coming and going. I tried to explain to him how I was feeling but I just decided to call a taxi and go to the hospital myself.

As soon as I walked in I felt fine. I checked into the emergency room and waited for hours since there was a lot of people waiting ahead of me and I had told the woman at the registration desk that I felt fine so that is probably why they made me wait so long. When I asked her if I could leave she finally got the nurse to come to talk to me, the nurse seem like a nice lady she took my vital sings before they would let me leave and she said that I could have had an “anxiety episode”. I did not know what that was and I did not even ask, she told me to follow up with my doctor as soon as possible.

I went to see my doctor the next day; she did blood work and told me that it was fine she agreed with the nurse at the hospital that it could be anxiety related. She also asked me a series of questions that lead me to think I was depressed. She prescribed me “zoloft” a medicine to treat anxiety and depression; she said this medicine was going to make me feel better.

That night after I took the first pill I went to sleep but then I woke up in the middle of the night, I felt like I was suffocating, my throught got tight, my hands were numb, my heart ponded very hard and I started to breath fast. I had an overwhelming feeling that things were crashing down on me. I felt like I had lost control I was literally scared to death. My dad tried to take me to the hospital but then he had to call 911. After a few minutes the police came and so did the ambulance, they rushed me to the hospital. I was so scared of being in an ambulance but at the same time I feel like I was in a safe place. My blood work and EKG’s came back normal, and what had just happened to me was a panic attack, so I was released

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